Thursday, July 22, 2010

D Day Minus 188 (September 1, 2009): Life is the Mundane

"You going to work slacker?" I asked, but you just lay there. I knew you were awake.  How could you not be with the squeaky closet door opening and closing just outside of your bedroom and my heavy stepping?  I’d traipsed back and forth between my bedroom and my overflow closet at least five times in search of something to wear that didn’t make me look fat. 

“Are you awake?” I pulled on your right toe that peaked out from under your sheet.  Your comforter was rumpled around your head like a crown or maybe a rainbow. 

 “I’m not working today.”  You said, eyes closed, head glued to the pillow.

“I thought you were feeling better.” I said bracing myself for a tale of insomnia, puking, and a throbbing head.  My stomach churned as I thought about canceling a meeting I called and staying home to make sure you were doing okay.  I stood there for a minute or so, trying not to ‘rainman’ you about taking some anti-nausea meds or Tylenol or getting food or filling your water bottle or bargaining with whoever would listen to make you feel better.   Meanwhile, I practiced my deep breaths –in for four and out for four. After a few rounds of my deep breathing, you opened your eyes, sat up, and smiled a devious smile.

“Oh, didn’t I mention it.  I’m off today.   Julie wants me to be extra rested when I go in tomorrow.  You know Mom.” You paused. “I have an intense week of training ahead.  Then we’re going to Houston.” You punctuated ‘Houston’ by throwing your comforter on the floor right next to my feet.  I was sort of glad you had bed head and bed creases across your face.
“I hate you.” I said yanking your right toe extra hard this time.

“Be nice.” You said.  Then you rattled off your plans for the day – oil change, hair cut, Walmart, bank.  My nose started to tingle like it was getting stuck by pins – a sure sign of tears to follow.  All because I was so happy that you could do the boring trivial tasks today especially since I was so afraid that you were going to be in bed all day.  I was happy you had Wegmans. I was grateful for your boss Julie.  She saw all of your potential and gave you hope.  I was grateful that I could go into work and not worry all day about you. All things I used to take for granted.

“Are you ok?” You asked when the tears streamed down my face. “Do you need a hug?” And you gave me one, while I finished with one of 'my moments.'


  1. good point sis. we all need to remember the trivial things we need to do are a blessings and we should be happy we can do them. :P

  2. Life really is about the mundane. What really is important is how you live day to day not the big events or the two week vacations. BiZ. N