Saturday, January 22, 2011

D Day:(March 8, 2010): Transcending Time

This morning your body caught up with your soul.  You transcended time. Like magic! At least that’s what I like to think.  You became whole.  You became who you really are— a perfect soul.  A perfect soul who completed his mission.  A perfect soul who reminded me who I was, who we all were.  A perfect soul who is with me through all time and eternity.  At least that what I like think.  

We were all there, by your bedside.  Dad, Katie, Morgan, and me.  Just like you wanted.  I held you and cried.  And counted your fingers.  Just like I did when you were born.  

The Funeral Director came and got us before they wheeled you to the hearse.  You were swaddled in a gray blanket on a gurney. Looking peaceful and pain free.  At last!  I hugged you.  And well you know, I wondered if you knew how much I loved you and if you were still there. Somewhere?  

Now Dad, Morgan, and I are picking out a box for your ashes.  We’re at the funeral home.  I’m keeping my promise. I’m doing things just the way you asked. No grave! Too dark! Too scary!  A celebration! Comfort those who loved you.  The ones you left behind.  Take care of Katie! Take care of Morgan! Take care of Dad! Oh, and take care of myself.  I will try for you. I will be okay for you.  At least I think

We’re going to Hawaii to take you back to where you were born. Where Aloha has so many meanings – hello, goodbye, love.  Where I first met you— my loving, adventurous, and zany little man. You always wanted all of us to go back. Dad, Morgan, Katie and me.  But, not this way.  Somehow you always get your way – one way or another.  I’ll give you that!

We found a box we like.  I think you’ll like it too.  It’s made of wood – classic and elegant.  Simple, just the way you’d like it. No fuss.  Just your name, your dates, and “In Loving Memory of…” 

We’re sitting around the table going through flowers, registry books, and programs.  Looking for just the right way to celebrate your life.  

The Funeral Director stopped by.  She asks if we want to see you one last time.  My heart stops and I forget to breathe. Morgan blurts out “Yes.”
There you are. In a room all by yourself.  Almost on a pedestal.  Flowers in the corner for another person's service. Still swaddled in the gray blanket. I am calm. I am at peace. I am  not crying. At least not much.  Dad and Morgan hug you.  I soak in the moments of Dad and Morgan hugging you one last time.  Then its my turn. I walk toward you. I want to know you are okay. I want to know if you'll keep your promise. I want to know if there is something more. I bend to hug you. Then I look up. And you blinked. Not once. Not twice. But three times. I looked back at Dad and Morgan, but they didn't see. Dad was consoling Morgan. My body tingled from head to toe. And I just held you tight.  Then I knew. You did it. You kept your promise. Just like you said you would.
This morning you body caught up with your soul.  You transcended time. Like magic!  At least that’s what I KNOW.

1 comment:

  1. we will be with him again, i know it too. Gregy will have a healthy strong body and we will be laughing about the crazy adventure we had on earth. <3.